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Wednesday 12 March 2014

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

It always astounds me at how quickly my outlook can change. I’ve had a really positive first week back at home, which was topped off nicely by the visit of, and lunch with HRH The Countess of Wessex.

Luncheon with Royalty!

This positivity continued into the weekend, which included a trip to Windsor in the gorgeous sunshine. I’ve spent the majority of this week at home but on the two occasions I went into Bisham Abbey, where we train as a squad, the irrational, negative or emotional thoughts, or what I call the dark cloud of worry descended.

Still in my anesthetic state and without much energy on my feet, I went to see the team before a pitch session. There were differing reactions to the ‘show and tell’ of my disc fragments but it was great to see them and their support has been and continues to be fantastic. On leaving the pitch though they started the session and I watched a couple of minutes. Now, I’ve been playing hockey for 25 years and successfully recovered from four operations (to date!) and still, that little negative thought of how far there was to go popped into my head. I couldn’t even begin to imagine myself jogging, let alone sprinting whilst pushing and hitting a hockey ball.

I know too well that dealing with thoughts like this is part and parcel of recovering from an injury, if I get them on a good day they’re easy to shrug off, remembering ‘one day at a time’ and move on. If they creep in when things aren’t going so well it can be a completely different ball game altogether. I’ve already apologised to the squad in advance for any sudden, inexplicable bouts of water works or mad moments! On Monday it wasn’t so extreme, and it was saved for the privacy of my own house but that’s how quickly it can turn. Thanks to Kate and Heads Up, it didn’t last very long.

Now they were two very small moments from the past week, the majority was hugely positive. The feeling has started to come back into my right leg and foot, which is encouraging, although it has been replaced by some neural pain, which again is not entirely unexpected, and actually in my head feels like a more normal reaction than a numb leg. My surgeon was also really pleased with everything and happy for me to progress.


I also had my staples out, eighteen in total, which can be viewed below if you like that sort of thing! It was a little more painful than I thought it would be but this really signifies the start, it’s time to move this rehab train forward!


6 comments:

  1. Hi Helen, so inspirational in so many ways, thank you for sharing. Although Big B had warned me about the video clip he stars in never thought it would be so hilarious! I cannot wait until he next coaches us ;-). Keep the PMA going and I wish you all the best in making it back in time. All the best Ems W x

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  2. Thanks Ems for your comment. I know, his Darth impression really was something very special indeed!

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  3. So, started physio here which is already making a difference - but a complete contrast to post back op physio! At that time I was on crutches for about a month after and doing light physio before seeing the specialists. So, walked into my first session and they said to " lay on my front and they would lift my legs up." Me " but that really hurts a lot", they "oh no, it will be good for you" Me "but I go into spasm if I lay on my front" They "it's ok, we know what we're doing and will make sure everything is ok" Me "no, really, it hurts so much I can't move" They "don't worry, everything will be fine and you'll feel much better" Me "well, if you insist" They "we do". So, two minutes later I'm on my front and they move a leg, at which point I went into hideous spasm and literally screamed the house down!! Eight other physios appeared out of nowhere and tried to turn me back over - even more painful, spasm + hyperventilation with very odd looks from the other patients! Suffice to say, although I had walked in, two hours later I hobbled out on crutches, never to return! Very pleased that I can laugh about it now and hope my story gives you a smile!! I'm sure your physios will take special care of you...
    Am able to move the old shoulder a bit so hope to get permission to move from physio to exercise, sounds like you're making good progress though, keep strong!

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    1. Sheesh! So I bet my recent post on how much I'm appreciating my physio went down well?! I can't believe it, in the main people know their own bodies better than others, well especially those who've had back problems. Yep things are ok with me, moving forward slowly but that's what I expected for the first few weeks. Glad the shoulder is moving, keep it going...

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  4. Don't envy you as never had staples, but felt for you. I don't like stitiches being removed though & prefer the new, dissolvable ones they now use for dental surgery! Hope you can steadily start rehab soon & hearing that you progress is good. Take it slowly :0).

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    1. I'd never had staples either and can safely say I prefer stitches!

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